Above the Fold

A digital 'zine by Original Fuzz about creativity and making stuff.

★  Mar 28, 2024  ★

How Much Is Too Much La Croix?

Featured photo for How Much Is Too Much La Croix?

As I crack open my second lime La Croix of the morning, time halts for a moment. I’m mesmerized by the soft, luscious sound of fizzy popping bubbles, and delight in the effervescent chilled goodness of that initial brain-numbing swig. I swallow it down with a refreshing, “ahhhhh, yes,” as I side-eye the overflowing recycling from yesterday’s sparkling water abuse—It’s like when you’re watching Netflix for the fifth hour, or cuffing the bottoms of your jeans, or trimming your bangs—you can’t help but wonder, “how much is too much?”

Since the national debate on sugary substances, the popularity of local and organic foods, the Forks over Knives uprising, and the sheer joy we get from walking around mindlessly in a Trader Joe’s, coupled with the marketing genius behind the brand, it makes sense why La Croix has become so popular. Drinking water is cool again because being healthy is cool again. Thanks Michelle Obama.

Nowadays everybody wants a piece of the tasty La Croix pie, nevermind it being around for over thirty years. The shiny, pastel, 80s windbreaker can completes your look, your meals, your oral fixation habits, and solves the awkward “I don’t know what to do with my hands” situation. It’s popping up left and right in pop culture, hit record sales in July, and the stores can’t keep the boxes on their shelves. One time, I saw a lady drive two carts of it out of my neighborhood grocer’s doors, smirking maniacally, as she unloaded them into her car. It was a scene; she literally took them all.

So with all these Pamplemousse maniacs and the flavored fizzy frenzy, what’s the catch? I did some internet searchin’ and came up with this: nothing, nada, zilch, null. La Croix is not that bad for you.

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There's no calories, no sweeteners, no sodium, no artificial nothin'. The naturally derived flavors come from essential oils of the fruits that are labeled on those sweet cans. Find out more on La Croix's nutritional facts here

Here's the not that bad part. 

While carbonated water is fun to drink, it may cause stomach issues like bloating and gas (oh boy), sometimes mild acid reflux. In extreme cases, those in which you have sensitive stomach issues, you may get IBS (yikes). 

If you’re a freak, like me, who drinks a case a day and continue to do this for the rest of your life, your teeth might experience enamel decay. The carbonation in La Croix is made from carbonic acid, a relatively weak acid but, nonetheless, acid you are putting in your body by way of your mouth (hopefully) surrounded by your teeth. While there is risk of tooth decay, it would be over an extended period of time.

There is some buzz circling around La Croix using cans with trace amounts of BPA, a chemical used to make plastics and coat the insides of metal. Research has found that BPA can be transferred to the food you eat if stored in these products; however, according to the Food & Drug Administration, there is such little amount found that the food or drink is safe to consume. La Croix states on their website that their products are in accordance with the FDA guidelines and are completely safe to drink. But, if you're alarmed at the thought of contaminating your body, there are other ways to enjoy a La Croix.

Possibly the most detrimental result of drinking La Croix is the damage it can do to our environment. The amount of energy used to make the aluminum cans, the millions of tons of greenhouse gases absorbed by our atmosphere, the creation of toxins that seep into our water and air, damage to our natural habitats, and landfill overpopulation are just a few reasons to not sleep at night.  

So, drink at your own risk people. Always recycle because this planet belongs to everyone, not just you.

As for me, I’m going to continue the habit as long as my wallet abides and the water is flowing. And La Croix, you can sponsor us anytime.

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 Brought to you by the Original Fuzz Department of Research. Also, according to the La Croix website, the correct pronunciation is "La CROY," not "La KWAH."