If Every Team in the World Cup Were a Band
The World Cup in Brazil starts tomorrow, so here's another soccer/rock-and-roll mashup for you. If each team in this World Cup were a band instead of an international soccer team, here's the band they would be...
USA - The Replacements
Not the most talented, but capable of moments of sublime brilliance. Play harder than anyone.
Brazil - The Rolling Stones
They make it seem so effortless.
Argentina - Bob Dylan and The Band
Messi could be considered the greatest player of all time if he wins this World Cup. He's got a great supporting cast around him.
Portugal - U2
A bunch of sissies with a self-important frontman.
Spain - The Beatles
Technically astute reigning champions of the world. The sum is much greater than its parts.
Belgium - Pink Floyd
Bubbling up from the experimental underground. They can kick some serious ass, but they'll never be considered the absolute greatest.
Germany - Radiohead
Organized and creative. With their powers combined, they can be a force of nature.
Chile - Neil Young
Wild and ecstatic. Can beat anyone or lose to anyone on any given day.
England - The Libertines
A young brash group that could quickly turn heads when they cut loose of their cultural baggage.
Mexico - The Kinks
Started out as fun and sloppy rock and roll. Matured into pop complexity. Never quite crossed over and became as big as their peers.
Cameroon - B.B. King
Always around. Strong foundation, not going anywhere fast.
Croatia - ABBA
Stuff that Europeans love with a few classic gems in the mix.
Japan - Talking Heads
Proficient, organized, and technical. Never quite accessible enough for the world's biggest stages.
Colombia - Eminem
Passionate, bordering on insane.
Greece - Modest Mouse
Quirky, chaotic, with flashes of brilliance.
Ivory Coast - Slick Rick
Not as big as their peers, but still dope.
Switzerland - The Strokes
Simple and strong, but still not going to change the world that much.
Ecuador - The Clean
Anything can happen.
France - Leonard Cohen
Sophisticated, influential, but never consistently on top.
Honduras - The Monkees
Pleasant, but not that important in the grand scheme of things.
Bosnia and Herzegovina - Tinariwen
Children of a war torn region capable of making an impact.
Netherlands - Bruce Springsteen
Big time, but always slightly below the all-time greats.
Australia - AC/DC
Like a fashion mullet and a beer.
Costa Rica - The Ramones
On the surface things are simple, but there's more lurking below.
Italy - Steely Dan
All bases covered. As many takes as needed to get it right. No unnecessary risks.
Iran - Herman's Hermits
Hopelessly out of touch.
Algeria - Blind Willie McTell
Somewhat of an unknown quantity.
Ghana - Gwar
Something about them scares me.
Nigeria - OS Mutantes
Good rhythm. Great style. Psychedelic overtones.
Russia - Peter, Paul, & Mary
Puppets. Just a pawn in the game.
Korea Republic - Kraftwerk
Computer world. Computer world.