Resident advice guru, Mark Harrod, is back with another edition of Mark's Mailbag. This month, he dives deep into his reservoir of knowledge to give us more insight into falling.
Looks like you are about a dozen issues into the Fuzzmag. You have any stories from the last 12 months about falling down which, for whatever reason, didn't make it into this column?
Muhlenberg County, Kentucky
Steve! Congrats on being the first mailbag questioner that I can recall using an entire county as the location from which you write as opposed to just a city. I guess word about the Fuzzmag is spreading into more rural areas.
There is in fact another fall I could tell you about.
First, for those who didn't read last month's mag, there is a detailed post where I explained how I fell down a set of slick wooden deck stairs and injured my back and hand. The ring finger on my right hand is still a bit tender, but you'll be glad to know i'm basically recovered from that one. The owner of that set of stairs has since fallen on them as well. I did feel somewhat vindicated to hear that.
Honorable mention for the year's best fall goes to a spill I took in St. Louis at a Bruce Springsteen concert. As you are likely aware, the entire floor section of his arena shows are sold as general admission, with a lucky few people winning the lottery for front row standing positions. I was one of the lucky few.
As for the fall, I left my front-of-stage location for a trip to the bathroom. This entailed going to the side of the floor area, then climbing stairs through the whole lower bowl of the stadium and out onto the concourse. I navigated that part easily. Upon returning to the floor, I made it all the way down the stairs in the darkness and a security guard then moved one of those metal barrier things so that I could go back to the front of the stage. As soon as my feet hit the presumably beer-soaked concrete on the floor level I was a goner. To the amusement of people in the lower five rows of the section of the stadium where I entered the floor, I flailed my arms and landed in the puddle of whatever liquid caused the slip. There was an audible "OH!!!" and laughter from the crowd. The security guard said, "Oh man, you slipped right where I did." THANKS BUDDY.
It was definitely a big enough fall to where I have since looked on Youtube for videos of that concert to see if any of them are entitled "Dumbass falls hard @ Springsteen show." No luck yet, but I'll keep looking.
Mark is a former lawyer who lives in Nashville. If you see a guy walking a golden retriever in Germantown, feel free to say Hi. You should know, however, that there is another guy who looks a lot like Mark who also walks a golden retriever in Germantown so you might be saying Hi to the wrong dude. It has caused confusion in the past—including one particular incident where the other dude's wife hollered down the street at Mark several times before getting a closer look and realizing her mistake. Anyway, say Hi. You can also find him on the internet at basketofchips.com and @cmharrod.