If Every Team in the World Cup Were a Band

Messi with Argentina and Bob Dylan with Robbie Robertson

The World Cup in Brazil starts tomorrow, so here's another soccer/rock-and-roll mashup for you. If each team in this World Cup were a band instead of an international soccer team, here's the band they would be...

USA - The Replacements

Not the most talented, but capable of moments of sublime brilliance. Play harder than anyone.

Brazil - The Rolling Stones

They make it seem so effortless.

Argentina - Bob Dylan and The Band

Messi could be considered the greatest player of all time if he wins this World Cup. He's got a great supporting cast around him.

Portugal - U2

A bunch of sissies with a self-important frontman.

Spain - The Beatles

Technically astute reigning champions of the world. The sum is much greater than its parts.

Belgium - Pink Floyd

Bubbling up from the experimental underground. They can kick some serious ass, but they'll never be considered the absolute greatest.

Germany - Radiohead

Organized and creative. With their powers combined, they can be a force of nature.

Chile - Neil Young

Wild and ecstatic. Can beat anyone or lose to anyone on any given day.

England - The Libertines

A young brash group that could quickly turn heads when they cut loose of their cultural baggage.

Mexico - The Kinks

Started out as fun and sloppy rock and roll. Matured into pop complexity. Never quite crossed over and became as big as their peers.

Cameroon - B.B. King

Always around. Strong foundation, not going anywhere fast.

Croatia - ABBA

Stuff that Europeans love with a few classic gems in the mix.

Japan - Talking Heads

Proficient, organized, and technical. Never quite accessible enough for the world's biggest stages.

Colombia - Eminem

Passionate, bordering on insane.

Greece - Modest Mouse

Quirky, chaotic, with flashes of brilliance.

Ivory Coast - Slick Rick

Not as big as their peers, but still dope.

Switzerland - The Strokes

Simple and strong, but still not going to change the world that much.

Ecuador - The Clean

Anything can happen.

France - Leonard Cohen

Sophisticated, influential, but never consistently on top.

Honduras - The Monkees

Pleasant, but not that important in the grand scheme of things.

Bosnia and Herzegovina - Tinariwen

Children of a war torn region capable of making an impact.

Netherlands - Bruce Springsteen

Big time, but always slightly below the all-time greats.

Australia - AC/DC

Like a fashion mullet and a beer.

Costa Rica - The Ramones

On the surface things are simple, but there's more lurking below.

Italy - Steely Dan

All bases covered. As many takes as needed to get it right. No unnecessary risks.

Iran - Herman's Hermits

Hopelessly out of touch.

Algeria - Blind Willie McTell

Somewhat of an unknown quantity.

Ghana - Gwar

Something about them scares me.

Nigeria - OS Mutantes

Good rhythm. Great style. Psychedelic overtones.

Russia - Peter, Paul, & Mary

Puppets. Just a pawn in the game.

Korea Republic - Kraftwerk

Computer world. Computer world.


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